Can Conflicts and Disagreements Actually Strengthen a Relationship or Are They Detrimental?
The formula for human progress is very simple: negative experiences push us toward positive transformation. If we feel something is truly obstructing us, then we make a shift toward something better. It is the law of negation: we move forward when we encounter resistance that forces us to seek a better state.
Can this process happen the other way around? No. It is a law of nature. If we want to develop, we need friction. We must provoke discussions, arguments, and conflicts, but in a friendly way. “Let’s argue!” You cannot imagine how much energy this releases and how much clarity it brings. When people argue without hostility, they begin to say truthful things to one another and perceive them differently. They stop seeing each other as adversaries. In such an environment, objections and remarks are no longer attacks but pathways to understanding. When friendliness is present, defensiveness disappears, and much more fruitful communication begins.
People think they argue over trivial matters, but it is untrue. Nothing is trivial. Every argument is a spark that ignites deeper tensions. Just like wars often begin over small disputes, yet the real cause is years of unresolved tension. Sports serve a similar function. They help release built-up aggression. Without moments of conflict, we cannot progress to better relationships. It is a natural law: without experiencing hatred at some point, we cannot move toward a higher level of cooperation. Good cannot exist without evil. They need to be managed together.
How do we learn to appreciate evil as the starting point for good? It is by treating both equally. We can then maintain balance and use both positive and negative experiences for advancement. And how can we achieve this? It is by rising above both the good and the bad. This is possible in an environment that supports such an ascent. The wisdom of Kabbalah teaches us how to rise above our natural inclinations. With its help, we can learn how to manage our nature and progress toward a harmonious, peaceful, and unified world.